Trust Me, I’m A Doctor: 6 Things Not To Lie About On Tinder

Ah, Tinder. Great for meeting new people in the comfort of your PJ’s while in bed severely hungover. It can be difficult to navigate yourself around the dicks and the attention whores with low cut t-shirts and layers of fake tan, so when you do get a match, here are 6 things you should never lie about on Tinder, or else you’ll be unmatched, like, immediately.. You have been warned…

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1) Your Age

Although age is just a number, imagine you’re meeting up with someone and they said they were 23 but it turns out to be a 40-year-old sleaze who is walking towards you, ABORT, ABORT, ABORT IMMEDIATELY.

2) What You’re Studying In College

If you’re studying to be a teacher, don’t tell them you’re studying to be a doctor. You’ll be walking along on your first date and BAM, some kid drops to the ground choking and now it’s your time to shine, “doctor”. Yeah, lies kill people guys, just remember that.

3) Where You Work

What’s even the point in lying about where you work? They’ll find out so why do it? It’s ok to have a shitty, part time job, we’ve all been there, got the t-shirt and battled on through.

4) Places You’ve Visited

Wow! So you’ve been backpacking around America and traveled through Asia? Then it turns out they have too and now when they’re asking you about all the cool little places you’ve both been to and you have to cram travel books and produce photos of your trip. Good fucking luck bitch!

5) Extravagant Stories

“Oh, tell me again about the time you saved a Romanian family from their burning apartment building and went back for their beloved cat!” Just don’t. Every fake story you tell will be found out eventually because, to put it mildly, people aren’t that stupid.

6) Height

There’s nothing worse than meeting up with this guy you met on Tinder and it turns out he’s one of the Seven Dwarfs. Totes awkie momo my friend. State your height from the offset and find a friend that doesn’t reach your nipples. #ShortBoyDoCare

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