The Ugly Truth About Casual Hookups

We live in a day and age where dating seems to be off the cards. The regular courtship procedures seem non-existent and we live in a world of 3am ‘Where are you’ texts and casual hookups. Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong (in my opinion) with anyone wanting to have a relationship that consists mostly of casual sex and no commitment. If both people are consenting and you both fancy each other and want to bang, then go for it because, well, why the hell not? But there are a few little truths you must know about casual hookups and so here they are:

1) It Might Not Be Great.

Sad, but true. Sleeping with a new person for the first time is awkward and a little bit weird. They don’t know what I’m into, I don’t know what they’re into. Why is he making that face? Help….

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2) You Probably Won’t Hear From Them Again.

I know it’s difficult, so try not to let your heart run away with what just happened. You might have ideas of dates and dinners with this person, but be realistic here. You just had casual sex, don’t expect anything else from it. *Sorry*

3) You May Hate Each Other.

I’m being a bit sarcastic here, but some people genuinely have casual sex with people they think are dick heads in terms of personality, but who are great between the sheets. Get to know them a bit first, just to be sure.

4) You May Fall For Them.

Ahhhh, the messy bit, when feelings are involved. If you can, try to avoid ‘catching feelings’ with a casual hookup. Honestly, you’ll only end up fucking it up and hurting yourself in the long run.

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5) They May Fall For You.

If this isn’t what you’re looking for then RUUUUNNN FORREST, RUNNNN! No, seriously though, if your hookup starts to catch feelings and admits this to you, then end it and end it now. Unless you’re a total prick who likes dragging people along, that is.

6) You Might Catch A Disease.

If this is a one night stand thing, you probably don’t know this person very well. Do you want a baby? Do you plan on raising a child with someone who you barely text on a day to day basis? Do you want a collection of STI’s? Assuming you answered no to all of those, then you’d better wrap it before you tap it. You better cover that stump before you hump, you better….. yeah, you get it.

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7) It Might Be Awkward.

If you’re in a situation where you’re casually hooking up with someone you know, like a friend or colleague, it may be really awkward afterwards when you see them out in public. Do you really need a situation in which you have to avoid just one more person awkwardly? Thought not.

8) Sneaking Out And The Walk Of Shame Is Not Glamorous.

Walking home with heels in hand is not a cute look. Honestly, you will get judged in the morning by passers-by, by taxi men or whoever else may lay their frowning eyes upon you when you’re on the way home. Prepare to feel judged as fuck. But ya know, own it.

9) People May Judge You.

People, especially of the female variety, tend to be judged for having casual no-strings-attached sex. It’s not really fair considering men get a pat on the back for sowing their wild oats, but it is true. If you want to keep your name untarnished, then sleeping with lots of people casually may not be the way forward.

10) You Can Feel Used.

It can feel particularly shitty and painful if you hook up with somebody and then they never speak to you again. The terms ‘hit it and quit it, or humped and dumped’ tend to ring a bell here….

11) Your Beer Goggles May Have Worn Off.

Finally, alcohol plays magical tricks with our minds, from making us think we’re smooth talkers to the best break dancers in the world. But the worst trick is that it tends to make us attracted to people that we wouldn’t normally even look at twice. Nothing is worse than thinking you went to bed with Cameron Diaz. when in fact you wake up beside Princess Fiona from Shrek. I’m out of here…

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