The 17 Shitty Stages Of Waiting For Him To Text Back

There’s nothing worse than waiting for a text back, whether you’re an impatient person or not. But when you’ve put your heart and soul into crafting that brilliant first message, it’s heartbreaking to have to suffer the never-ending wait for their reply. Everyone has experienced this wait at some point or another and can relate. Just remember folks, a watched kettle never rings, or something like that…

1) The constant checking.

You’ve sent the message about two seconds ago, but that’s enough time for them to reply, right? So you check your phone to make sure you haven’t missed it. And again. And basically every 30 seconds after that.

2) Is my phone broken?

27 minutes and 18 seconds have passed and there’s no reply. I’m just gonna turn my phone on and off reeeeeeeeeaaally quickly to make sure it’s not broken.

3) Self-analysis.

Maybe I was too needy. Too clingy. Too casual? Did I pick the wrong emoji? Fuck, I knew I should have gone with the plain smiley face. IDIOT.

4) The screenshot stage.

Better get the girl’s opinion on what I said, and see if they can help me. *Screenshots and sends to the group chat immediately*

5) I don’t even care.

Pffft I’m over this. I don’t even care, he was a bad kisser anyway. He missed his chance. Dickhead.

6) Secretly caring.

I’m not gonna sit by my phone and wait for him to pick up his phone and reply, HELL NO, I’ve got better things to do. I’ll leave my phone in my room. On vibrate. On loud. Just so I can hear it if he does….

7) Disbelief.

Is it normal to wait this long before replying? I can’t believe this, it’s ridiculous, it’s been 40 minutes already ARE YOU DEAD?

8) Sleuth time.

Active 5 minutes ago, EH? Caught red handed. What have I done to deserve this?

9) Maybe he’s out.

Well, he’s not tagged in any statuses on his best friend’s page nor does he have a Snapchat story. What is he doing???

10) Reminiscing.

I’ll just have a quick scroll through our past conversations. Aw, we were so cute back then WHEN HE REPLIED.

11) SHIT CLOSE THE TAB.

FUCK HE’S ONLINE. CLOSE THE TAB CLOSE THE TAB CLOSE THE TAB.

12) Accepting defeat.

He ain’t replying any time soon. I give up. I TRIED. I really gave it my all.

13) Staring at your phone.

Is that…. Could it be….. He……replied? There is a God after all!

14) Calculation.

So I sent him the text at 14:57, he replied at 16:03, that’s 66 minutes I was left waiting. Divide that by how much I like him, add on another ten minutes to be cool and seven more because he left me waiting so long….

15) Fuck it.

Fuck it I don’t even care, I’m replying now.

16) Regret.

I shouldn’t have done that. I should not have done that. What was I thinking? I wasn’t thinking and I used waaaay too many emojis and that joke was shit. Crap.

17) The circle of life.

Aaaaand here we go again. Life eh…