Reasons Why I’m An Undate-able Person

Ever wondered that you’re somewhat averagely good looking, have a nice nature and easy going person but you can’t find a girlfriend ? Well welcome to my life. I asked the team of to help me why I’m so single, And in the extensive reserch, These facts came up :

1 : I Make Terrible First Impressions :

When I walk up to a girl in my messy, Spiked hairs, Wearing those year old ragged-yet-comfy jeans and tell her I’m from a small village in Rajasthan, Do you think it takes long before I’m categorized as Too Simple or in desi terms “A Dehati” ?
Cause it doesn’t. In-fact its pretty instantaneous.

2 : My gym consists of getting up from Bed and going to the kitchen :

When you are competing against guys who like – I Don’t Know – Bench press 500 pounds or some sh*t, And you look like the earlier version of Salman Khan, The odds are very much against you.

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Ohh O Jane Jana, Dhoonde Tera Diwana

3 : I’m Really Annoying during arguments :

Whenever conflicts or confrontations arrives, I immediately run back to my shell, And that’s like a stoned version of “Darsheel Safary” From Taare Zameen Par.
And to make matters worse, Hanging out with bros too much has given me this annoying habit of smiling, winking and doing a weird clicking noise when talking, Which – during an argument – is extremely aggravating and somewhat confusing.

darsheel zafari babahumor
***Tears*** Please Dont Fight.

4 : I’m Too Fu*king Lazy :

Before you rush into getting into a relationship, Just stop and think about it for a minute. You need to be on-call and presentable 24×7, And in-case she’s having a bad day, You need to cheer her up by putting too much efforts.
I keep a fu*king jar of chocolate spread and a box of cornflakes in my room cause I’m too fu*king lazy to walk up to the kitchen,  DO YOU REALLY THINK I’L TAKE HER OUT ON A LONG DRIVE ON A SUNDAY ?

5 : Something is clearly wrong about my overall appearance :

I’m not sure whats up, But there is something definitely wrong !

6 : If my cricket team loses, I turn into a very hostile Bitch for rest of the week :

Seriously, How can you expect me to focus on finding a girlfriend when Chennai Super Kings, A team with Brendon McCullum, Micheal Hussey, MSD cant beat a team like Mumbai Indians ?

7 : Too much online gaming ?

Sometimes, After rampaging newbies in Counter Strike, I feel guilty. Is this what my life has been  reduced to? Damm you Steam !

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8 : I’m too Poor :

I’m also too poor to date. I mean, if a girl is down with having a good time and eating normal food, Great. But if a girl wants proper Wine-n-Dine, That means me skipping food for rest of the week.

9 : A bit different :

I’m about to be 21 soon, And I still eat Cotton-Candies, Panipuris, Sugar toffees, etc. I wave at kids like crazy when I see them on a school-bus, My morning begins with “AC/DC You Shook Me All Night On” on my 5.1 Stereo on full volume, And yes, I still have a Nokia n-Gage cause I love playing contra.

10 : I cannot text when I’m under influence :

I’ve seen bros flirting and replying back to their girls like pro, But whenever I’m high, And – whenever I have a girlfriend – I can’t find my mobile phone, And she automatically thinks I’m either Ignoring her or cheating on her, whereas I’m enjoying the reruns of Suryavansham on Set-Max.

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Thank you Addy Bhaiya, Kashi, Drums, Aaru and all others people for contributing to this post :)

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