Ladies, Take Note: 8 Sex Positions Every Guy Hates

Look, let’s not beat about the bush here, all puns aside. We all love sex. Standing up, sitting down, where-the-fuck-ever. But sex, like everything else in life, has its preferences and never is this as true as men and their preferred sex positions. Ladies, take note, here are 8 sex positions that guys really do hate….
Wicked-Naughty-Diva : Photo
1. The Over-Moan.

Just because lots of guys watch porn, that doesn’t mean they expect their own experiences to be just so. Moaning in ecstasy when a guy is barely touching you makes him think you’re fake as fuck, which, let’s be honest, you clearly are. So, don’t worry about being vocal to stroke his ego before he’s even stroking your… you know…

2. The Starfish.

On the other end of the spectrum is the starfish. Lying on the bed with your arms and legs stretched out flat while making absolutely no effort to add to the action is not sexy. Even if you’re not on top, playing dead and sea creature like is so not hot right now, or so I hear…

3. Catching Air.

When you’re on top, nothing scares a guy more than when you bounce a little too high, and there’s the chance of a botched landing. Catch some air and come down wrong, and you’re looking at the possibility of a broken penis. Yes, the penis is a muscle. But if severely bent while erect, it can actually tear and that…well, that’s really not what you want now, is it?

4. The WWF Smack Down.

Some like it rough. Some don’t. Don’t assume your guy wants to be smacked in the face, scratched down his back, spanked on the ass or any other thing you can do to inflict pain while getting on down. If he tells you he likes it, fine, beat that boy up. But if it hasn’t been discussed, don’t leave him with any teeth, nail or slap marks because that doesn’t really seem legal, for one.

“As much as I’m walking away, I will keep the door open with the light on so I can look back and remember,”

5. Assploration.

Yes, many guys find it pleasurable to have their ass fondled. Many guys, on the other cheek (ha), flip their shit if you go anywhere near that back door. Unless he’s told you he likes it, stay away from his butt hole. If you want to fondle something, reach for his balls instead. They are a much safer bet and they’re squishy. Just kidding…

6. The Lean Back.

Erect penises bend forward. This means: Don’t ride a penis the same way you ride a bull. Lean forward or straight up. Don’t lean all the way back. Quite simply, guys’ penises don’t bend that way and you’re probably going to hurt the shit out of him and who wants that?

7. The Red Eye.

Most guys will agree that the reverse cowgirl is a hot position. That being said, it’s safest to stay upright in this position. If you lean forward and grab his ankles, not only are you risking bending his penis the wrong way, you’re giving him an unsolicited view of your asshole and you know, he might not be into that. Asses are hot, the actual hole… well the verdict is still out for most guys.

8. The Water Slide.

From time to time, lubrication is necessary. There are many things that make good lubricants: KY Jelly, lotion, saliva, even conditioner if you’re giving a hand job in the shower. One thing that doesn’t make a good lubricant though is water. Water actually just adds to the chaffing, believe it or not. If you are giving a hand job and need some extra lubricant, reach for the lotion, not the faucet my friends, I’ve learned that the hard way. (Pun intended.)

This absolutely sends electric socks through my body, loved his hands on my neck. I got lost in his touch, In the pull between us.

H/T Your Tango