Insert Shocked Emoji Here: An Emoji Film Is Happening

Where would we be without emojis? They make communicating a hell of a lot more simple. A little winky face here, a crying face there, a dancing woman on top and boom. You have yourself a sentence.

Which is exactly what Sony Pictures Animation is taking advantage of. They have reportedly won a bidding war with three other studios over the rights to produce a film… WAIT FOR IT… of emojis. Yep, you read that right. A movie full of emojis. It’s not clear yet what the film will be about, but I myself am hoping for a storyline involving the little smiling poo. I feel he has a good story to tell.

As amusing as this sounds, it’s admittedly a little weird. A lot of the emojis don’t even have bodies. A film full of yellow little heads bouncing around will be a little creepy, if you ask me. Unless they want to focus on the people emojis, maybe a Romeo and Juliet type rift between the families? I mean, they have such a wide “cast” to choose from, the possibilities really are endless.

The scary thing about this whole movie deal is that it is a seven figure deal. SEVEN. To make a film about animated faces that are, let’s face it, not as cool as the ones from MSN all those years ago. I have yet to find an emoji that makes as much of an impact on someone as that annoying laughing bitch did. What has happened to Hollywood?

People were actually fighting to secure the rights to produce this film. About smiley faces, no less. Sure it will probably be funny and Apple will lap it up, but what does that say about us? Like most things, the film industry is mostly about supply and demand. They go on what we want to see. So that must mean that we want to see a film about coloured squares and balloons. Delightful.

I myself find the news quite worrying; the fact that people have paid money to make a movie like this, and that people might even pay money to see a movie they could make on their phone just makes it worse. There are so many better things you could put in a film, like Ryan Reynolds. Let’s not forget about him. Can we get him in on the act? Maybe as the voice of the emoji with sunglasses? I think he would make a good yellow-face-with-sunglasses. At least if there’s a scene between the skull and the bag of dollar bills that hits you in the feels, you can recreate it whenever you want.