First Date Failures: Why You’re Not Getting A Second One

You’re a good looking person right? You keep on being asked or asking people on dates (successfully) and they seem to be having a good time. So with that in mind, you keep on asking yourself why you’re never being asked on second dates. See your problem is you’re making a number of fatal (albeit subtle) dating mistakes and you’re also kind of an idiot, but it’s cool, I’m here to point out your mistakes and help you grow from them. You’re welcome in advance, by the way….

1) You’re Unoriginal

Let’s be honest, this person is HOT and you and I both know what that means, wait you don’t know? *Sighs*. It means they get asked out on dates ALL the time and they’re experienced in this field. By some miracle, they agreed to come to you and you asked them to do something mundane/ boring like going to the cinema… If you’re going to impress this person you gotta be more original with your dating ideas my single friend.

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2) You Seem Uncomfortable

Look, I know they’re hot (clearly too hot for you), but don’t let them know that. You’re fidgety, keeping your distance, stumbling over your words and mumbling your responses…C’MON! You have to be Confident and Comfortable around them. The key to achieving this is through your body language, be relaxed and intimate with them and not an awkward duck.

3) You’re Too Self-Absorbed

The greatest threat to any first date is a couple of seconds of awkward silence which seem to stretch on for an eternity and to prevent this, you’ve decided to talk non-stop for the last 30 minutes. Please shut the fuck up and take an interest in them. Ask questions about them, then ask questions about their answers. Oh, also make eye contact and hold their stare because not only is it romantic, it also shows that you’re listening intently.

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4) You Mentioned Your Ex

There is nothing less sexy than talking about the person you used to date. Don’t even mention them unless you’re asked about it. The last thing you want is for your date to picture you and some other person having sex. Not cool. Tonight’s all about the two of you and nothing else.

5) You’re Not Funny

What’s sexier than someone who’s funny? Nothing, that’s what (and I should know, look at me I’m hilarious). You’ve become so focused on being interested and confident that you’re conversations are becoming a little stale. Everyone loves to laugh, so be funny, witty, sarcastic. Essentially just be a Bantersaurous Rex (which is like a really fun person…who happens to be dinosaur).

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6) You’re Too Intense

You want this person to know you’re really interested in them but for the love of Zeus, why on Earth would you joke about marriage and kids? That’s way too fucking intense. Take a deep breath and stop being so weird, ok?

7) You’re a Little Boring

Don’t get me wrong, you’re asking all the right questions, and taking an interest in them, but you’re not really being that interesting yourself. Listen, this person has had these same questions asked of them for years, don’t become another statistic. Ask them what they would do if a Zombie Apocalypse happens; it’s weird, it’s different and gives you a little bit of insight into what type of person they are.

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8) You’re Stuck In The Present

Granted, there are a lot of things that can go wrong on a first date, so you’re putting a lot of effort into making sure that you don’t fuck up, which is fine and all, but don’t be afraid to think ahead. Obviously you like this person so maybe drop a couple of hints about a possible second date, maybe even ask:
“Hey I know a really good Cafe around here that makes the sexiest cake, we should go sometime?”

9) You Didn’t Compliment Them

Yes, you said they looked lovely and all that boring shit, but you didn’t compliment them on the date. Don’t be afraid to say how much fun you had and how you were amazed by how interesting and cool they were to hang out with. Tell them you had a great night and it’ll be sure to get him/her interested in the possibility of a second date.

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10) You Didn’t Kiss Them Goodbye

Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night sweating and terrified because you had a nightmare; In your dream you went in for a kiss and they went for a hug *shudders*. I honestly feel for you, the goodbye kiss can be one of the most awkward parts of any date. Questions like the when and where you should do it always come into play and sometimes you feel like it’s safer to just avoid it altogether, but NO! It has to be done and it sets the tone. It tells him/her that you’re romantically interested in them and more than friends.

11) You Tried To Smash

Listen, sex on the first date is very much a possibility, and if you get the chance I say go for it, but never try it on unless you’re both feeling it. There’s no faster way to ruin a date than forever being known as the creep who hit on someone who really wasn’t feeling it.

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