Beyonce And Magic Mike Help Make Up The Most Epic House Party Of All Time

Throwing a house party can either make you or break you. If it’s a flop you can wave goodbye to your social life, whilst you wait under the nearest rock until someone else throws one that was more of a let down than yours. In contrast, if it’s a hit, then you have the potential to go down as one of the greats. Up there in the hall of fame with the likes of Stifler himself.

I’m not talking about a “that must be Nigel with the Brie” small scale dinner party shit. I’m talking a call the police, fireworks out the chimney, gold encrusted DJ decks on the roof kind of shit.

The reoccurring problem I find myself in when planning a party is budget. I always come up with these epic ideas, to then realise it’s probably not feasible for Beyonce to make an appearance.

What if there were no limits? What if you could plan a party that was not confined by anything?

Here’s my idea of the famous faces I would choose to make up a party so legendary I’d probably be knighted by Queen Elizabeth herself.

Taxi driver: Robert Di Nero

Transport your guests in style with the services of the ultimate vigilante.

Doorman: Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson

Dressed in full WWE attire if someone crosses the line they are going to get fucked.

Chef: Joel Robuchon

Constant canap s will be provided all night by the chef with the most Michelin Stars on the planet. Those mini burgers would be the shit!

V.I.P: Allan from the Hangover and a pack of tigers.

Every party needs Alan and every party needs tigers.

V.V.I.P: Denzel Washington.

Wherever Denzel is I want to be.

Sculpture: Donatello

A 6-foot vodka luge ice sculpture will feature to get everybody suitably fucked.

Bar staff: The cast of Coyote Ugly

Who doesn’t want to be a coyote?

DJ: Kevin and Perry

The ultimate kings of dance music.

Actual DJ: Calvin Harris

For when you actually want shit to get played. Of course you have to have the biggest DJ in the world.

Shot girls: Victoria’s Secret Angels

One for the lads . Body shots anybody?

Barmen: The cast of Magic Mike

I have no idea if they can make a cocktail but who cares they are hot as hell.

Drug dealer: Tony Montana

aka. Al Pachino in Scarface.

Toilet attendent: Bob M

arley

With Bob Marley serenading you with a joint and providing you with lollipops and cologne/perfume on your exit. Does it get much better than that?

Police: Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy

This ultimate cop duo can bring the heat and shut down any party because they are two of the greatest women to walk the planet, fact.

Pizza guy: Spiderman

Every night needs to end with takeaway pizza right? Who could race to satisfy your drunken cravings quicker than the Marvel himself?

Mind equals blown. Although, I’m now a little depressed by the fact that this will most probably never happen, but a girl can dream!

Someone who is actually living the dream is the woman who lives as a real-life mermaid. Swimming with wildlife in the ocean for a living.