A Broke Students Guide To An Enjoyable Summer

Money is cool; you use it to buy stuff, and buying stuff is fun. Wouldn’t you agree? However, the tricky thing is that you have to work to get money and your broke ass doesn’t have a job. Do you see your dilemma? No money equals no cool stuff. But there is single speck of light within the endless black hole of cashlessness that is your life…me. Let me show you how to retain your limited funds so that you can still have an enjoyable summer.

1) Stay Single

This is coming from a guy who has spent years watching his friends wallets shrink down to a similar size to that of their confiscated testicles, which reside peacefully in their girlfriends purse. I see the ladies in the audience nodding in agreement but don’t be so smug; if you honestly think you’re free from expenditure you’re lying to yourself. Relationships at our age are in essence are a long term contract where in exchange for seeing someone naked you have to both do and buy them stuff. If you want to keep your minute amount of cash flow from growing smaller, STAY SINGLE.

2) Buy in Bulk

Let me give you an example: Lets say you love to drink. You are not a beer or cider woman, oh no, you’re all about them hardcore spirits (respect). Drinking for you is not cheap, you have expensive taste and don’t get drunk easily. The solution is actually quite simple, you just buy excessive amounts of drink. Gather all your available funds, including the loose change hidden in the crevices of your couch; Go to the nearest Off Licence and buy a couple bottles of cheap stuff. Now when you need to go to a session all you have to do is get a plastic bottle, fill it up with drink from your secret vodka stash and go on the sesh. This way you’re saving money and can directly cap how much you can drink…well how much you can bring.

3) Sharing is Caring

You have friends and they have jobs, need I say more? I’m not saying you turn yourself into a level 10 freeloader, but lets say hypothetically all the lads are chipping in 5 euro for the taxi, maybe just happen to forget your wallet yeah? It’s not pretty, it’s not sexy, but the struggle is real. This way you can still go out. They would understand, and you would do the same for them if you could, but you can’t…because you broke AF.wtf animated GIF

4)Social Media is Your Best Friend

In this very day and age if you’re paying full price to get into a nightclub, you’re either an idiot or a rich idiot. Apps like ‘InForFree’ are there so that all you have to do is click a button and you get into the nightclub of your choice for free. Our forefathers dreamed of a better tomorrow and here it is! Event pages literally have promotions where if you just like and share the page, you’ll get a discounted entry to the night out. It doesn’t get much more simple than this lads.

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5) Go Do Free Shit

Legit just go to museum or the park or the beach. It honestly doesn’t matter, it’s something you haven’t done in a while or preferably never. Once you open your eyes and actually start looking, there are so many cool free things you can do. Go to Trinity and take a tour of the campus…then vandalize it.