6 Surefire Signs You’re Superb At Sex

Ever wonder if you’re a lady on the streets and a mean freak between the sheets? I HAVE. It’s a common and very real query us ladies have and rightly so. It’s pretty clear from the offset whether your bed buddy is a great ride or not, but how do you know where you rate on the sex scale of success? Other than asking your past conquests (this rarely ends well, in my ego-shattering experience), there are a few tell-tale signs that you’re the most coveted lady on the streets. Well, not literally on the streets, I hope. Here are six surefire signs you’re superb at sex:

1) You’ve had more than one ‘one-night-stand’ come back for seconds.

What started out as a dry spell in dire need of patching up has quickly turned into a regular romp and none of this was initiated by your fine self. Now there are one of two things happening here, either you’ve managed to pull yourself someone with the emotional needs of a recently dumped 14-year-old girl OR you’re a catch of the day and he just can’t help himself by coming back for second (or eighth) helpings.

2) Your housemates have had to ask you to keep things down far too often.

Now, it’s true, you could just be a screamer with zero inhibitions. Go you, that’s just plain fantastic. I’m sure there’s nothing your housemates love more than hearing some sweaty bastard play peek a boo with your vagita, but for Gods sake woman, think of the children (next door), think of how you’re tainting their innocent little minds. Maybe you’ve watched a little too much porn (cheeky), maybe you just don’t give a shiny shit, or maybe, as is preferred, you’re just a great lay and there’s no keeping a lid on the burning passion in room two.

3) You never have to make the first move.

Well, if someone was as fantastic as you at the historic art of baby making, you’d jump them as regularly as possible too, wouldn’t you? You’ve put it all (I mean all) out there, you’ve got that certain ‘je ne sais quoi’, that aura of being a self-assured sexual beast and let it be said, my friend, your milkshake most certainly brings all the boys to the yard and they’re like ‘wow, you’re amazing at this.’ I know, right?

4) There are never any shortcomings in your bed.

If you get what I mean, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. You know what makes you tick and that in itself is a huge turn on for any guy or girl watching. Instead of this ‘let’s just fumble around for twenty minutes and hope something sticks’ bullshit, you come (pun intended) fully instructed and ready to go and as the infamous Paris Hilton (since we’re on the subject of sexcapades) once said, ‘that’s hot.’ As a sort of cherry on top, your bed buddies generally tend to come away with a happy ending of their own because you’re nice like that. What can you say, it’s a gift.

5) You’re as sexually adventurous as they come.

Nothing is too wild, too out there or too much for you and your kinky little ways. You’ve pretty much ticked every box on the list of weird sex shit you should try before you die and to you, there are still hundreds of pretzel-like positions that you have yet to turn your hand and genitals to. Listed among your idols are Samantha from SATC and whatever genius wrote/ illustrated the Karma Sutra and you’re not shy about sharing this with the world and its sister, hell, who wouldn’t take bondage over bread for breakfast? Em, that’s just you.

6) People have said that you’re great at sex.

Yeah, it’s pretty safe to assume that you’re a great lay. You go GIRL!