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25+ Of The Most Embarrassing Things That Kids Have Ever Said In Public

Being a kid is great, because you can embarrass your parents as much as you want without feeling even slightly bad about it. Take a look at this hilarious list of embarrassing kid quotes to see what we mean. Compiled by Bored Panda, the list contains some of the funniest, the weirdest, and the most unexpected words to exit the mouths of children. It serves as a reminder that, even though growing up has its benefits, there’s nothing quite as liberating as saying exactly what you think in a crowded place and letting somebody else apologize for you. Don’t forget to vote for the funniest!

#1

My daughter once asked a black guy why he was made of chocolate. I was incredibly embarrassed. He thought it was hilarious.

imjustgonnalurk Report

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Kjorn 15 minutes ago

kids are curious. that guy understand that

#2

When I was pregnant with my youngest daughter we explained to my older daughter that mommy has a baby in her belly and daddy put it there. Well she always wants to be just like mommy so she started going around telling people she has a baby in her belly and her daddy put it there….. you can imagine the looks I got.

Heather Hatfield Report

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#3

Daughter was rubbing my face with a small football earlier, she thought it was funny so I let her carry on. Later on we were in a restaurant when out of nowhere she gives it “I gave my daddy a ball massage before”.
We didn’t stay for dessert.

Jason Manford Report

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Stille20 31 minutes ago

There is just no explaining some of the sh** kids say

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#4

My, then two year old, being held by a woman who drew on her eyebrows, exclaimed “You have something on your face!” Followed by proudly wiping off one eyebrow, he said, “There I got it for ya!”

danoah Report

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#5

On our way to watch my daughter play soccer, my son was asking me about how babies were made. So I told him all about the sperm and they egg and so on. He seemed to reflect deeply about what I had said. Get to soccer and we sit among all the other parents and he blurts out “Dad, is your sperm still inside me?” I almost fucking died.

jibbletmonger Report

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Kjorn 16 minutes ago

people around need context :-)

#6

My daughter at the tender age of 8 announced to a crowded room that when she grows up she wants to be a prostitute!
Turns out she meant prosecutor but, you know, it took a while

chocolatephantom Report

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Stille20 29 minutes ago

Oh… that one’s going to haunt her later.. and be fun for you.

#7

Three-year-old daughter Madeleine said very loudly in public toilets: ”Mummy, why do you have a beard on your bottom”

Emma Gill Report

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#8

Friend’s son, 5 years old, pointed at a Muslim women in the mall wearing full garb (including face) and shouted, “Mom, a ninja!”

dotdotdot_goose Report

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Stille20 27 minutes ago

Love it

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#9

During my divorce, while the kids and I were at Walmart buying groceries, I put a bottle of wine in my cart and my daughter yells, “Oh, look, Mom’s sad again.”

danoah Report

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AcousticGString 34 minutes ago

awww :(

#10

Was riding on a public bus and my five year old put her hand on a guy’s shoulder in the seat front of us and said – “This man is very fat.”

error_flynne Report

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Stille20 30 minutes ago

LOL…time to teach your kid about boundaries… and shutting the hell up in public

#11

When I was 5 or 6 we were at my Dad’s company picnic. I was introduced to his boss and I told him, “My Daddy says you’re a son of a bitch.” My Dad’s co-workers fed me ice cream all afternoon.

agreeswithfishpal Report

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#12

My 6-year-old daughter had her appendix out. When the stitches were removed, there was a catheter in her abdomen, sticking up. She looked down and proudly announced: “Goodbye appendix, hello penis!”

jules Report

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#13

When pregnant with our second child we told our first, three years old at the time, that mommy’s belly was so big because there was a baby in there.
At a restaurant a couple days later a heavy-set woman walks by our table. Daughter shouts, “Look mom! That lady had a baby in her butt!”

keenly_disinterested Report

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#14

My three year old daughter will yell “LOOK DADDY! A GANGNAM STYLE!” whenever she see’s an Asian man.

reddit Report

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#15

My son was feeling really badly about pooping his pants, so to make him feel better I told him that it happens to everyone, even mommy. The next day we walked in to daycare and told the lead teacher “Yesterday I pooped my pants, but mom said it was ok; it happens to her all the time.”

danoah Report

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#16

My friend was having a hard time getting her daughter to drink water. At lunch one day the little one loudly exclaimed that “drinking makes mummy happy”.

Sarah Kerby Report

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#17

My daughter is obsessed with body parts. Especially vaginas and penis’ and she often asks strangers, “do you have a penis or a ‘gina?”

That’s not the awkward part.

She was sitting on her dad’s lap at church and one of the old ladies who sits near us said, “Oh, you’re sitting so nicely on your daddy’s lap! You must really like your daddy being here!” (She said this because my husband works A LOT so it’s very rare that he is actually able to come to church with us) my daughter said, “I’m not sitting on his lap. I’m sitting on his penis. Do you want to sit on my daddy’s penis someone?”

LlamaLlamaPingPong Report

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#18

I was dating a guy back when my son was maybe 7-8 years old. I picked him up from the airport one night and brought my son with me. While we were driving home the three of us started playing the game “raise your hand if you’ve ever…” 5 minutes in, my son blurts out “raise your hand if you’ve ever clogged up the toilet with a big pile of poop like my mom did today”.

Rowens78 Report

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#19

My mother and I were at Chili’s with my son (who was about 6 or 7 at the time) and my mother and I split a margarita during dinner (a small one, not one of those fishbowl ones). After dessert, we get the bill and get up to leave, when my son suddenly starts BAWLING loudly. Alarmed, I squat down and ask, “what’s the matter?!!” I’m thinking maybe he cut himself or is in pain or something horrible the way he is wailing like a hyperactive banshee. In between hysterical sobs he manages to screech, “I DONT WANT TO GET IN THE CAR WITH A DRUNK DRIVEEEEEEERRRR!!!! I DON’T WANT TO DIE!!!!!!” Literally everyone in the restaurant is either staring at me horrified or giving me the death eye. It was so embarrassing. I tried my best to soothe him and explain to him that it was ok, but he was just screaming”You’re DRUUUUNKK!”.

TheBlackPajama Report

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#20

My daughter’s day care had circle time every morning as a way to start the day. Anyway we were late and walked into the middle of circle time. My daughter said “we’re late because my Mommy had diarrhea”.

jaimmster Report

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#21

My 4-year-old son felt the need to warn “old” people they will die … he told a lady in the grocery, “Old people die … and you don’t look so good”

Edna Report

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Kjorn 1 minute ago

what a way to frightned people to the dead

#22

For amusement we would tie a hotdog to my 4-year-old sister’s waist and the neighbor’s dog would chase her around trying to get the hotdog and she would giggle and it was funny.

Well one day at the grocery store, as our neighbor is buying a pack of hotdogs my sister blurts out “ARE THOSE HOTDOGS FOR MY BUTT???” Lots of stares.

TJtheV Report

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#23

I was with my five year old son in the middle of a crowded Apple Store, waiting to get my iphone worked on. Out of nowhere, he grabs my crotch and says “MOMMY!! Your pee pee is all wet!”. I think I was a little sweaty from wearing a warm jacket and being in a crowded hot store at the mall. Needless to say, everyone in my immediate vacinity turned around and stared

reddit Report

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#24

I had just started seeing this new guy and when he came over my five-year-old son answered the door and said I would be down in a sec because I was on the toilet wiping my butt.

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#25

When my daughter was two and asking about the anatomical differences between herself and her baby brother, I taught her the proper terms and that women and girls had vaginas and vulvas and boys and men had penises and testicles. Whilst browsing through Kohl’s that holiday season (store was PACKED), she loudly exclaimed as she pointed to ever stranger we passed “BOY! Penis and tentacles!” “GIRL! Gyyyyyynah and Volvo!” Lather rinse repeat. The kicker was the androgynous cashier. She asked “Boy or girl?”. The cashier was a trooper and smiled “Girl, sweetie.” Kid proudly screams back “Gyyyyynah and VOLVO!”

tiffychele Report

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