23 Perfectly Valid Reasons Not To Date A Creative Type

Ahhhh, the wonderfully artistic and talented people among us; the poets, actors and musicians of the world. The ones who make us feel things we’ve never felt before, and who give us a beautiful new perspective on life by looking through their artistic prism. They sweep us off our feet with their hypnotising music or their wonderful way with words. I’m not saying they’re all the same, but in my experience, it seems as though the majority can be tarred with the same brush (no pun intended). Be warned though, there are plenty of reasons not to date these artsy fartsy types:

1) They’re Crazy.

Most artists/poets/musicians are a little bit loco when it comes to perfecting their craft. You didn’t hear it from me though…

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2) They’re Broke.

They generally don’t know where their next gig is coming from, or if anyone will EVER buy that painting. So unless they have a steady job to support their dream chasing, then be prepared to eat beans from a tin.

3) Crazy Haircuts/ Style/ Taste.

Their constant need to be above the trend and to create something new can be exhausting.

4) Ego, Ego, Ego.

Wow, can your head get any bigger?

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5) Groupies.

If they’re talented and in anyway attractive, then prepare for a tonne of groupie sluts to hang around their gigs trying to get their claws in. Woohoo!

6) Their Songs About Their Ex’s.

Yes, it may be catchy, but do I really have to listen to this bullshit about how she broke your heart again?

7) You Have To Listen To Their Crap Music.

If they’re really crap at mixing or playing the guitar, you’re going to have to listen to them play the same old shit loop, over and over and over again until they ‘perfect’ it.

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8) You Become Their Muse.

Was that line in that song about me? You’ll fear that every detail of your personal life is now being played out musically…

9) They Have More Respect For Their Instruments Than You.

Don’t you dare lay a finger on their vintage Fender Stratocaster, but they don’t mind you getting bashed in the moshpit at their show.

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10) They Work Unsociable Hours.

Musicians in particular. Their job is to supply entertainment and music to people who actually have a social life. They supply the party rather than attend it…

11) Practice, practice, practice.

It’s a given that a good artist must practice his trade, so be prepared to be ditched for his practicing sessions making donkey music in his shed with his ‘band’.

12)  They Aren’t Marriage Material.

How many successful Rockstar marriages can you think of? Hmmm..

13) They Might Dabble In Narcotics.

As the saying goes ‘Sex, Drugs, and Rock n’Roll.’ I’d like to believe it’s just a saying, but for most it’s a lifestyle.

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14) They Will Judge You Based On Your Taste In Music/Art/Poetry/Everything.

Ohhhh, they are so artistically minded you couldn’t possibly comprehend their insights into these things. Blah blah blah.

15) They Will Judge Your Shower Singing.

You are not Simon Cowell, please fuck off from outside the bathroom as I sing into an empty shampoo bottle. Dickhead.

16) If They’re Successful, They’ll Go On Tour.

Yep, they will up and leave your ass if they get an opportunity. No questions asked.

17) They Might Definitely Cheat On You.

Unfair to say this about all of them, but as I said, easy sex with groupies and all that.

18) They Need To Be Adored.

Why do you think they got into this profession in the first place? Their need for acceptance and praise is sickening.

19) They May Have Mental Issues.

Actors, in particular, have been trained to be different people every day of their lives. Small hint of schizophrenia? I think so.

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21) They’re Good Liars.

They are paid to learn the craft of pretence. Just think about that….

22) Long Distance.

Whether touring or shooting a film or performing in a play that’s not in your hometown, prepare to spend a lot of time apart.

23) Their Intense Need To Be Different.

Poets and artists in general, especially the hipster types, display this. Prepare for all of your dates from now on to be in that old church/ sushi restaurant/ techno music nightclub that just opened up that nobody has ever heard of before. So hot right now.