22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldn’t Exist

You can read between the lines and find something sexual in almost anything these days; from disney films to pretty much any picture with a Br*zzers logo attached (the internet makes me star this out because it’s a wimp). However, if there’s one place you feel safe from innuendos, phallic objects and general sexual invasion, it’s probably a kids playground – right? Well, apparently not.

Little did we know in years gone by that whilst we were other the park with our (mainly) pure minds free of sex and full of innocent childhood fun that we were actually riding giant penises and swinging from one phallic bar to the next. No wonder we all bloody love sex so much (just me?), it’s been ingrained from day one.


1. Now I know my A, B, C

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


2. Is this a flashing pig? I can’t quite get my head around why this exists

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


3. Why?

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


4. No really – who designs these things?

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


5. Note: If you’re riding something and it’s eyes start to bleed; stop riding

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


6. Definitely a playground for adults

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


7. The ultimate naughty corner

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


8. This kid hogged her swing

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


9. A rainbow of wrong

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


10. When you get changed in the dark

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


11. This piece should probably see a doctor

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


12. Mum’s loving it

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


13. Oh come on

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


14. Looks raging

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


15. This dinosaur was blessed by the god of love

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


16. That smiley face on the end isn’t fooling anyone

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


17. Ever seen the film Teeth?

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


18. You’re having twins

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


19. A giraffe taking a dump with a hole in the most inappropriate position

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


20. This whale has a doting boyfriend

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


21. Line up, line up, come and be elephant shit for the day

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist


22. This has to stop

22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldnt Exist

I don’t think I’ll ever look at kid’s playgrounds the same way again – the architect behind these ‘rides’ could probably do with a strong talking to. Though, I’d probably still pick any of these lot over Italy’s Ai Pioppi, which is arguably the most terrifying playground in the world.